Even the Best Laid Plans Don't Always Work Out

I figured it was about time to update the blogosphere again on my quest to lose weight and get back in shape. Remember those last two goals I set? To work out 30 minutes, 4 days a week? And to drink only 3 12-ounce sodas per week? Yeah...those didn't work out so well. And here's why:

I DIDN'T WRITE ANYTHING DOWN. Please metaphorically slap me now.

I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking in not documenting my progress, but I also realize now that clearly I was not ready to set those goals because I failed to hold myself accountable. But, it's time to try again. And I figured I'll try a different way to hit the exercise goal this time. I joined a community goal on the Weight Watchers website to bike/run/walk 40 miles during the month of March, which comes out to about 1.3 miles per day. And this time, I will absolutely document it! I also joined a goal to be in a single-digit clothing size by May 5. I'm not entirely sure how realistic that is, but I figure if it's in my head, I might actually make progress toward that goal. I will say that I would love to be in a single-digit size by the summer. I don't remember the last time I bought anything in a single-digit size...

The soda goal remains this same, but again, I will actually document it this time - starting tomorrow.

You may think that nothing will change this time around, but I can tell you right now that I took the time to make some other changes this weekend that will hopefully give me a push. I've been meaning to get my hair cut and styled for a long time now, and I got a rather expensive last night. I have bangs again (I had them in high school), and the stylist actually demonstrated how to style my curly hair so that it's soft and can move (as opposed to crunchy and stiff). Though I straightened my hair today to see what my (slightly) new cut looks like straight, I am most definitely wearing my hair curly to work tomorrow. Hopefully that new look will motivate me on the weight loss business.

I also discovered the magic of facial masks today. An old colleague of mine sells natural facial care products and gave me a sample of a facial mask, and while that particular product is not quite right for my skin type (of course, I researched it!), I plan to purchase one this week that is correct for my skin type. If you know me well, you know that I've had problems with super oily skin and acne since I was probably 13. It's totally obnoxious, and I figure that if I can get my skin to look better, I will be more motivated to get other parts of me looking better, too!

Finally, I took a pair of jeans that I bought about a month ago that had been hiding in my drawer because they were a little too long over to my grandma's house tonight so she could hem them. They are really cute jeans, and they fit right now, so I'm excited to wear them! I also bought some great plaid deck shoes last night for the spring and summer. So hopefully some wardrobe changes will motivate me as well.

I read an article in the newspaper that said that if you're in a funk, either mentally or physically, or both, all you really need to do is get moving. Exercise your mind and your body. Do something you've been meaning to do that will benefit your physical and mental health. So hopefully I jump-started that process this weekend. Even if I don't meet all of those goals, I will have something to work toward. Furthermore, the article stated that you'll feel better, even if you only think you are making progress.

More to come...probably in another month...

:)

Hard work, Hope, and Hard-boiled eggs

Perhaps the attempt at a funny and creative title is a bit lame. I should get points for the awesome alliteration, though. Because I decided to jump back on the work out wagon tonight, I decided I would also do an update on the weight loss process. It's slow-going, which is to be expected. I have lost a grand total of...four pounds! (Cue fanfare). But seriously, that's an accomplishment. I'm back to the weight I was over the summer, which is a good place to start. (I should also point out that I'm currently about 20 pounds lighter than I was at my heaviest point ever, so the fact that I've kept that off is also pretty awesome).

Enough about what the scale says. I have to say that I'm feeling pretty good, but like everyone in today's world, I would like instant gratification. Obviously, that's not possible with a weight loss goal. So instead, I'm choosing to focus on the progress I have made. I can tell you that I'm already much better at eating. That sounds weird, but if you've ever tried to watch what you eat and control your portion size, you know what I mean. I mean that I actively seek foods that I know will keep me full. I also stop eating when I'm no longer hungry, for the most part. That last one I'm still working on. I'm also taking control of my relationship with food. In college, I was a huge stress eater. If something went wrong at school or at a forensics tournament, I would comfort myself by eating. I know, bad idea. I honestly don't remember when I lost control of my relationship with food, but it feels really good to be regaining control. Now, I channel my frustration/anger/fear/sadness into crafting, exercising, or working on my capstone in attempt to publish it. I've also taken control of my tendency to eat when I'm bored. If I'm watching tv and am tempted to grab a snack (even though I know I'm not hungry), I will knit, craft, play a game on my nook, or go on the computer. It's weird...because I know logically how to lose weight. It makes perfect sense to me. But it's one of those things that is easier said than done if you're someone that struggles with weight. I used to be really jealous of people that don't bear this particular cross, but I've come to realize that all things considered, this cross isn't that bad. Additionally, it makes me a much stronger person (with a whole lot of will power) to have to bear it. (I will quickly explain the cross metaphor. The priest at my church once said during a homily that everyone has a cross to bear. Jesus' cross was of course literal, but most of us have a challenge we deal with throughout our lives, whatever it may be).

The number one thing I have taken away from this adventure so far is to keep going. Even though eating hard-boiled eggs (and I've been eating a lot of them!) will become monotonous eventually, it will all be worth it. I will also tell you (whoever you are) that I've become much more confident with my clothing choices since starting this journey as well. I just purchased a fabulous burnt orange crocheted sweater that I would have never worn before I started this process. For those curious, the sweater makes its debut this weekend in...Eau Claire! I'm going there with a friend to take her friend out for her 21st birthday!

Now that I've make some good progress in controlling my weight and my relationship with food, I've decided it's time to make more changes. My primary goal is to get back on the work out wagon. You have to know that I love exercising in the summer - when I can play tennis, ride my bike, go swimming, and walk outside. The winter is quite a bit more difficult for me. I quickly get bored with running on the treadmill, and I refuse to buy a gym membership because I'm still so sporadic with my workout routines. I fear that I would never use it. I'm thinking that if I can make it through February and most of March, the weather will be good enough to bring out the bicycle. Right now, I'm only shooting for 30 minutes 4 days per week. Compared to my sporadic 30 minutes once or twice a week, if that, I'd say that's a decent goal.

A secondary goal, and one I've made many times before, is to cut down on soda. I drink diet soda, which I know is no better for me than the regular kind. The biggest problem I have with cutting out soda is that I'm totally, absolutely addicted to caffeine. I know that I could drink coffee, but I have to throw a bunch of creamer and sugar in it to make it taste good, which of course raises the fat and calories. I do, however, love tea, so I'm hoping I can get to a point eventually where I can only drink black or green tea to satisfy my caffeine addiction. For now, I'm taking a page from my own after school programming about setting SMART goals, and cutting down to three 12-ounce sodas per week. Compared to my seven per week that I currently drink, that will be a big improvement.

I think that's all for right now. If you read it, thanks for reading! If not, at least I can document my progress and broadcast my goals to the interwebs, which will hopefully keep me accountable. To end, a quotation...

"Vision is not enough, it must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps, we must step up the stairs."

Taking that first step...

If you read this blog, you know from my last post that one of my goals for the new year is to continue to work out and get back in shape. I don't think I mentioned that the other part of that goal is to lose weight. If you know me very well, you know that I am considered overweight (according to my BMI - yes, not the most accurate measurement, but it works). Of course, I'm not grossly overweight, and have never been considered obese, though at one point in college I was very close. So, what sparks my desire to lose weight? Well, honestly, it's something I've struggled with my entire life, and at various points in my life, I've done the roller coaster dieting. It's usually worked for a little while. In fact, the summer after my junior year of college, I lost 10 pounds with the old-fashioned "calorie-counting, exercising method." This summer, I dropped another 8 with that same method, and it felt great. However, within the past month, I noticed the numbers on the scale creeping back up again. I also noticed a pattern. Summer means warm weather, an easy time working out, and fresh fruits and veggies to eat in abundance. Winter means cold, nasty weather, boring treadmill work outs, and less motivation to eat yummy fruits and veggies. So, I'm trying to break that pattern. I am also trying to break the old "diet for a day" routine I've done since high school. Usually I look at the scale, respond with the appropriate profanities, and promise myself that "it will be different this time." And, go figure, it's never different.

Which, along with a commercial for Weight Watchers, brought me to tonight. I should also point out that one of my best friends is getting married this summer, and I'm in the wedding. There couldn't be a better time to take control and face my challenges. So, I joined Weight Watchers online. I know many people who have had success, so I decided to give it a shot. I'm not trying to lose some enormous amount of weight. I've set my goal of 15 pounds, which I think is entirely reasonable and will put me in that normal range on the BMI scale. I should also point out that I have three pairs of jeans waiting to be worn. I wore them in high school, but only for about year. Wouldn't it be great to say that I could wear jeans I wore when I was 16? The answer is yes. Clearly, I've also decided to make my goal public, hoping that it will help motivate me to stick with it. So here we go, blogosphere...

I'm thinking that since this blog hasn't been that history related anyway, I will keep you updated on my journey to change my lifestyle.

A side note: I just realized I never explained the title of this blog. It's actually a quotation said by the lovely old chap, Cecil Rhodes. Rhodes was a British businessman who "founded" Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe). I chose it as the title of my supposed history blog because it's such a powerful quotation. At the time, Europe was busy dividing up Africa to its liking, and in my opinion, Rhodes was a pretty greedy guy. I think to me it represents the power of one person and the power of ambition and setting goals.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

That it is. For me, Christmas truly is the most wonderful time of the year. It's a time to be with family and friends, celebrate the birth of Christ, give gifts, and count my blessings. I'm not going to lie, though, I AM looking forward to having a week away from the office!

Christmas also always lends itself well to reflecting on the previous year. Since my family does not send a Christmas letter, I thought I would spend some time reflecting here.

My year was filled with many wonderful times and blessings, including:

-Graduating in May from UW-Eau Claire!
-Actually finding a job (albeit part-time) right out of the gate
-Spending time with family and friends over the summer
-A fabulous weekend vacation to Door County with a very good college friend
-Working for AmeriCorps and getting to know some amazing colleagues (who are now friends) and students
-Celebrating my brother's wedding in October! I couldn't be happier for my brother and sister-in-law and couldn't have received a better sister, either :)
-Being asked to be in a good friend's wedding. We have known each other since first grade, but didn't become close until high school. We lived together in college as well. I couldn't be more honored and happier for her! Though the wedding isn't until June of 2012, I'm including it in the highlights from this year!
-Receiving an award for having a very well-written history capstone. That was exciting for me. Call me a nerd if you must.

Though my year was clearly filled with many great experiences and blessings, it was also filled with some sad times, too. I lost an uncle and a great uncle this year, which was hard for me and my family.

As I reflect on this year and look forward to the new year, I have some resolutions.

-Continue to try working out and getting back in shape
-Exercising patience when I become frustrated or annoyed
-I would love to find a more permanent job that I could stay at for a few years...then go to graduate school!
-Work on publishing my history capstone...we'll see.

That seems like a pretty decent list. I'm really looking forward to Christmas and to the new year to see what it brings! I wish you all a joyous, Merry, and blessed Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.

In my last post, I told you (whoever you are) that I was going to be working for AmeriCorps at UW-Marathon County. Well, I've been at it for about two months now, and I'm enjoying it immensely. If you want to be technical about it, I work for the Wisconsin Institute for Public Policy and Service (WIPPS), on the UW-Marathon County campus, which I was placed at through AmeriCorps. Whew, that's a mouthful. (typeful?) Whatever. Disclaimer: please leave the Rihanna jokes out. Yes, WIPPS and chains excite my co-workers and I. Moving on. Without boring you (hopefully), I'm going to attempt to tell you what we do at WIPPS. In a nutshell, WIPPS combines student service, scholarly research, and public dialogue to address numerous public issues. In practicality, that means we host a variety of events (ranging from a conference on how Marathon County can better compete in the global economy, to a discussion on the current state of American politics with Dave Obey and Tom Petri). We also have a Student Civic Leadership Program that involves college students, a high school leadership program, and various other programs/events/projects. We partner with many other organizations, including the Department of Public Instruction (DPI), the campus,and the Kettering Foundation.

As I said in my last post, my project at WIPPS specifically relates to college access. With the DPI, I am coordinating a mentoring program in five schools in the Wausau area, including high schools and middle schools. Most of my time is spent facilitating study halls, chaperoning field trips, programming, and leading activities with my students. Our program focuses on college access - for example, those practical skills and knowledge one must have to get to college (financial aid, how to apply, etc). However, we also believe that students need to know how to lead effectively, have good personal health habits, and understand how to succeed academically. A second part of my job is to make service learning a regular part of student life on the UW-Marathon County campus. Therefore, I am specifically in charge of recruitment and scheduling our college mentors in the various schools. I'm also involved in other projects, such as mentoring for the high school leadership program, college days on campus, and organizing service opportunities on national days of service, like Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

Though I absolutely love what I do, the title in of this post sums up my feelings regarding my mentoring/college access project. One of my co-workers and I constantly feel as though we don't do enough - specifically that we aren't making enough of an impact on our students, their schools, and our community. Everyone is constantly asking for more, and because there are only three of us on this project, we have to say "no" sometimes. And that's frustrating. So I'm trying to keep in mind that I am only one person, and that what I do and say will have an impact on my students and my mentors, regardless of whether or not I have the opportunity to see it.

Summer Time!

Well folks, I suppose it's time to update again. I've been out of school for 3 months, and I'm enjoying the lack of homework and free-time on weekends immensely. In my last post, I said I was working for the Corporation Counsel of Marathon County, but I never told you what that means.

The Office of Corporation Counsel consists of three attorneys, a paralegal, three legal secretaries, and me (I'm a receptionist). Our office deals with Children in Protective Services cases, child support, divorce cases, paternity cases, mental commitments, and any case involving Marathon County. For example, we represent the County if someone wants to sue the County. I do a variety of tasks, involving almost all of the above areas. I take paperwork to Judges' chambers for signatures, frequent the Probate Office to "file" paperwork (ie. get it stamped and authenticated), get the mail, answer the phone, make copies, fax paperwork, send out mailings, and anything else I'm asked to do. I actually really enjoy it. It's been an interesting experience; I've learned a lot about how the circuit court works and the processes involved in in it. However, next Friday is my last day in the Office of Corporation Counsel.

I'm moving on to a year-long position with Americorps. Basically, I'll be getting paid for service work, which is excellent. I'm placed at UW-Marathon County, which is a junior college in Wausau, and I'll be designing a program/event/something to increase college access among at-risk populations in Wausau (ie. non-native English speakers, alternative high schools, charter schools, etc.) (Note: if you went to Eau Claire and are familiar with BluGold Beginnings, I'm looking to design something similar to that). I've been told I'll have a variety of other tasks to do as well in this position, and that my position is a pretty important bridge between various organizations in the Wausau area. I start training on August 23, and will hopefully jump into my projects at UW-Marathon County the following Monday.

I also noted in my last post that I was hoping to do some work with the Marathon County Historical Society. Mission accomplished. If anything has kept me busy this summer, it's definitely been historical society projects. I helped create an exhibit celebrating the 100th anniversary of workers' compensation in Wisconsin and Wausau Insurance. Wausau Insurance began almost solely to support the workers' compensation law. It was bought out by Liberty Mutual about eight years ago, but it was such a large part of the Wausau Community that we decided to commemorate what would have been its 100th anniversary. It was incredibly interesting to learn about the history of workers' compensation and Wausau Insurance, and totally awesome to play curator for a few weeks. I also planned and helped facilitate our annual Children's History Day. The day was a total success, and the kids really seemed to enjoy the activities we planned for them. A large part of the day was dedicated to the Civil War, since this year is the 150th anniversary of its start. The actual curators at the historical society created a wonderful exhibit about Marathon County's involvement during the Civil War.

Because I'll be starting a full-time job shortly, I will have less time to devote to projects at the historical society. However, I'm hoping to finish a few more tasks before I leave, involving developing activities for our new Children's Discovery Room, cleaning/organizing for our Curator of Education, and creating yet another small exhibit. Once I start my new job, I'm hoping to be a docent on the weekends for our historic house museum. I may also help the Curator of Education with activities for the Junior History Club.

Other than working, working, and working :) I've been reading, biking, relaxing, watching tv, shopping, spending time with my family, and taking a few weekend trips. It's really been a great summer, and I'm actually looking forward to not going back to school in September for the first time in TWENTY years. That's pretty excellent.

That's all she wrote...

I realized today that I hadn't posted in a while, and I figured there's probably not a more perfect day than graduation day to update! Yes, that's right, after 5 long years, I finally graduated from UW-Eau Claire! (cue fanfare). It was a truly magical experience to be surrounded by my classmates (many of whom I don't even know) and embark together on our next big adventure! My 5 years at UW-Eau Claire went by so quickly in retrospect, and in all honesty, I don't think I have any regrets. First of all, I don't believe in regrets because at one point, everything I did was exactly what I wanted. I will also say that if you don't know, I was very, very studious throughout all of my college career. And while maybe that took some time away from my social life, I know I would not have been satisfied with myself if I hadn't taken my coursework so seriously. Still, it's hard to believe it's over. I had some wonderful experiences at UW-Eau Claire-experiences that changed my life for the better. I met the most amazing people (friends, classmates, and professors) that had such great influence on me and that I will surely keep in touch with for years to come.

Today, I'm feeling a whole mess of emotions: happiness, sadness, anxiety, a feeling of triumph, and relief. But mostly, I'm feeling blessed. Blessed to have been a part of an excellent university, blessed to have had the support I received from my family, teammates, coaches, friends, and professors, blessed to have had the opportunity to obtain a bachelor's degree. College is an experience that cannot be replaced by anything else and to have had the opportunity to learn and grow as much as I did makes me feel truly blessed.

One of my good friends who is wise beyond her years (but also 10 years older than me) told me I should document my hopes, dreams, and fears as I close the college chapter and start a new chapter. In the broad scheme of things, I really only desire two things: satisfaction and purpose. It's pretty simple. In whatever I choose to do in the coming years, I want to be satisfied with it and enjoy it. I also want to do something that has a grander purpose than just making me happy, however. In my chosen line of work, I think I will find immense helpings of both of those.

On a more practical note, I'm dreaming of museum work, or any work in history really, graduate school, marriage, children, a doctorate, and a teaching job at a university similar in size and mission to UW-Eau Claire. As usual, my biggest fear is the fear of failure and disappointing others, especially those who put time and effort into shaping me into the historian and person I am today. I don't know that I will ever overcome either of those fears, but I do know that my time at UW-Eau Claire has taught me to push them aside and replace them with taking risks.

For the summer, I'm heading home to Wausau to work for corporation counsel at the courthouse. It's a temporary, part-time position, but it will work for now. I also just learned about a position opening up at a historical research and consulting firm in Maryland, so I will definitely be applying for that. I also plan to do some projects with the Marathon County Historical Society, visit friends, read for pleasure, get back in shape, and spend some time with my family.

I have no idea where life will take me in the coming years, but I believe that everything will work out the way it's supposed to.