It's been quite a while since I blogged and so I decided that tonight was perhaps a good night to write a new post. This one isn't going to be about weight loss or history or anything else I usually post about. This one is about a feeling I've over the past couple weeks. As of late, I've felt extremely blessed. I really can't put my finger on why because nothing overly wonderful or exciting has happened recently. My life certainly isn't perfect (who's is?), but I can't figure out why all of a sudden I have this almost overwhelming sense of gratitude for everything and everyone I have in my life.
If you didn't know, I started coaching high school girls soccer this season for my former high school. It's been such a fun experience so far; I have the opportunity to work with some seriously top-notch (in school, soccer, and life in general) young ladies. I'm also working with some excellent coaches (one of whom is a former coach of mine). I love coaching --I always knew I loved it when coaching forensics-- so I took this opportunity and am certainly glad I did.
Work is good - always busy and there's always far more to do than I will ever accomplish in my time with my current organization. We had a major fundraising event last night that was quite successful. Peter Yarrow (of Peter, Paul, and Mary) gave a concert. I really didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did, but I melted when he played Puff, the Magic Dragon. My parents used to listen to it when I was a kid, so it was incredibly nostalgic for me. Everyone in attendance seemed to have a wonderful time at the concert.
I also recently stopped denying myself from having a particular dream. If you know me, it's no secret that museum education is truly my love in life. It also shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that my ultimate goal is to work at the Wisconsin State Historical Society, and once I'm there, I'm not leaving. For a long time, I told myself that I didn't want to be in museum education because it's hard, for many reasons. First, it's just hard work -- like anything. Second, it's often crazy hours --like my current job. The real issue I had with it was that museums, cultural institutions, and many nonprofits in general are significantly underfunded, so I told myself that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life justifying my job. I've grown to accept that fund development work is (and should be) part of EVERYONE's job description in a nonprofit. We have a very different economy now, and so it's going to continue to be difficult to raise money and ensure sustainability. Frankly, I told myself that the for-profit sector would be easier. But in looking at my friends and work acquaintances who are in the private sector, it's not any easier. Relationships with other organizations are just as important and the workload is similar (and sometimes even more). Plus, there's no point in denying yourself something that will make you happy. Even if I don't end up loving museum education like I think I will, there's no point in not trying and making up excuses. If we don't have dreams, I don't think we have much left. All of that said, I applied for two museum education positions (and I'm working on a third application). I'm anxiously awaiting closing dates (one of which is today!) I'm working my network to talk me up a little. And I'm hoping and praying.
I think the beautiful thing about dreams and goals is that our emotions run high and really kick in and make us feel human. Coasting and maintaining the status quo is just that - staying in neutral. When I do that, every aspect of my life gets stuck, and especially my emotions. Dreams and goals make me feel alive, and perhaps that's where the feeling of gratitude comes in. Even if I don't get any of the jobs I've applied for, I would rather have the dream, set the goal, and work toward it than stay stuck in neutral. Heartbreak is hard, but it's beats the hell out of never trying and denying yourself something you really want. And, at the end of the day, if you discover you made the wrong decision, you get two things: the knowledge that you made a decision (any decision) and a lesson learned. And in my book, that's a winning situation.
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